Blame shifting is another tactic narcissists use. They don’t just shift blame but also gaslight you and add shame to the pile. For example, if a narcissist is caught cheating, they might gaslight you into thinking it never happened and accuse you of being paranoid or jealous, making you feel like the bad guy for accusing them.
Selective amnesia is another tactic. A narcissist expects you to forget their betrayals as soon as you decide to continue the relationship. If you bring up past patterns of behavior, they’ll accuse you of being unable to let go of the past, making you question whether you’re being unreasonable.
Narcissists make unreasonable requests and pass them off as reasonable. If you give in to avoid arguments, it sends a message that their behavior is acceptable. They will then use this to make you feel accountable for actions that you were coerced into.
Reactive abuse is a common tactic. Narcissists will provoke you into reacting angrily, making you look like the abuser. They do this by acting in ways that are triggering to you and then playing the innocent victim.
Narcissists also play the perpetual victim to garner sympathy from others, which they use to fuel their need for attention and control. They may engage in smear campaigns, turning others against you and making you look like the bad guy.
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