Firstly, you were their premium source of supply. Maybe you have a lot of influence, maybe you have a lot of money, and you saved them. You made their life easier than it was. You brought them recognition, or you’re somebody who is really empathetic, caring, compassionate, considerate, and understanding. You’re the one who loves to save and tried to give them all the benefit of the doubt you possibly could. You gave them chances, you kept your mouth shut, you just thought maybe time is going to change everything, which is why you gave more the more they took. The more you offered, you brought life to their life. They are dead deep within, and you know that you made them feel alive.
Maybe there is no other source of supply like you in their life. Probably they have not met someone like you, and they’re searching for that high, for that level of compatibility. There’s none to be found in any narcissistic relationship, but what I’m talking about here is that connection they felt with you, the drama bond of a narcissist, how they idealized you and how they devalued you, and how they got high out of making you fall for their lies again.
The cycle was the cycle of addiction for them, and they cannot let go, which is why every single thought about you reminds them of that high they used to feel because of your presence. And now they can’t. Back in their mind, they’re always comparing their new source of supply with you, and in most cases, they can’t get what they have as an experience stored in their body and brain. They’re always trying to find something better than that, but most of the time, it’s either okayish or not as good as it was with you, at least for them. So, they feel dissatisfied, which is the reason why a lot of narcissists devalue their different sources of supply by saying, ‘My ex was better than you, my ex never did that, my ex never said that, she did this, and he did this.’ There’s this constant comparison, and that comparison is used to devalue, to belittle, and humiliate the other person they are trying to bond. You have given them a big narcissistic injury.
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