There will be times when a covert narcissist is transparent about their actions, confusing you into thinking, “Maybe they’re not a bad person, because bad people lie, and this person is confessing their wrongdoing with what seems like guilt.”
This is what I call selective transparency or weaponized integrity. Sometimes, they will show integrity, but you need to understand: you either have integrity, or you don’t. It’s not something you can turn on and off like a switch. If someone only displays integrity in certain situations and not in others, it means they don’t truly have it at all.
A covert narcissist knows exactly when to be transparent and when to show integrity in order to fool others into thinking they are a person of good character.
Example: You’re dealing with a covert narcissist who isolates you from your best friend, the person you rely on for support. They do this out of jealousy, and eventually, you discover they blocked your friend’s number on your phone without your consent. They haven’t been picking up calls from your friend either. When you confront them, they don’t deny it or gaslight you into thinking you’re crazy. Instead, they say, “Yes, I did that. I blocked them because I wanted to protect you. That friend isn’t good for you or our relationship.”
This is weaponized transparency. By admitting to their actions, they manipulate you into believing they had good intentions, making you question your own judgment.
Number Two: Admitting Wrongdoing as a Manipulation Tactic
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