Narcissists hate elderly people—not because they’re difficult, fragile, or slow, but because they mirror everything the narcissist fears. Old people are a living reminder that beauty fades, power slips, and youth is temporary. One day, you won’t be admired; you will need help, compassion, and care. That terrifies the narcissist because caretaking requires empathy, and they have none.
But there’s another layer here. Narcissists hate old people because they cannot exploit them in the same way. There is not much supply to be gained. Old people do not usually flatter them; they do not boost their ego; they do not fit into their fantasy image of power and beauty. So the narcissist grows resentful. Take my father again: he hated his own father. Yes, his father was a narcissist too—quite a big one—but as he got older and started deteriorating, my father’s rage toward him grew even more intense. He did not want to deal with the caretaking; he did not want to be burdened; he did not want to clean up the mess. Deep down, I think it wasn’t just hatred for that man; it was hatred for what that man had become: old, weak, unwanted—everything my father feared he would one day be.
Narcissists do not do well when they are no longer the center of attention. You know that, and elderly people tend to require care, time, and patience—all things narcissists hate giving unless there is an audience or a reward. You see this in nursing homes, in hospitals, in families where the narcissist refuses to help but makes excuses: “I’m busy,” “They’re just faking it,” or “Oh, they’re so dramatic.” They say these things because they do not want to face the guilt of being indifferent to suffering.
The crazy part is that old people are often easier to manipulate and gaslight, and that’s exactly why some narcissists let their real demonic selves out around them—no masks, no pretending; just raw cruelty. They belittle them, mock their memory lapses, control their medication, finances, and mobility. It’s like watching a wolf find the weakest prey in the herd. They know no one is watching and treat the old person as disposable. The terrifying part is that society often turns a blind eye. Abuse in elder care settings is rampant but barely spoken of. Why? Because narcissistic cruelty is often subtle; it hides behind smiles, behind “I am doing my best,” and behind “They’re just hard to deal with.” But if you have lived it, if you have seen that mask drop, you will never forget the look on a narcissist’s face when they know they have broken someone too weak to fight back.
So what do cats, babies, and old people have in common? They’re all vulnerable. They’re all deeply in tune with energy. They all sense danger, even when words are kind. They all challenge the narcissist in one way or another: cats reject control, babies demand real presence, and old people remind them of their mortality. That is why narcissists hate them.
But more importantly, that’s why these three are often the first to spot something off. If your cat avoids someone, if your baby cries in someone’s arms, if your aging parent looks tense when a certain person visits, pay attention. They may be telling you what your heart already knows.
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