Number two: they think you are cheating on them. Narcissists themselves will spend hours in the bathroom texting, sexting, grooming, recording videos, scrolling through dating apps, and obsessing over their looks. They will create a private little universe in that room, convinced they are entitled to disappear from reality for as long as they please. But the moment you take a little extra time in there, suddenly you are under suspicion. You are under the scanner. Who are you texting? Why are you taking so long? What are you hiding? These are the questions you will get asked, and they won’t be harmless in nature; they are projections. What they have been doing behind closed doors is exactly what they now fear you may be doing. Because they know how easy it is to manipulate others behind a locked door, they assume you are doing the same thing to them. You may not be texting anyone; you may just be breathing or scrolling for a moment of escape. Maybe you are even texting a friend who understands what you are going through. That’s not cheating, but they don’t see that. They only see betrayal—a make-believe thing. They will accuse you, demand your phone the moment you step out, and become visibly aggressive if they do not get access to your private conversations. Some will even stand outside the bathroom door trying to listen. Others will install tracking apps or start fights just to create emotional chaos that throws you off balance. This is more than jealousy; it’s ownership. They do not want love; they want extreme control.
Reason 3: Feelings of Abandonment and Disrespect
Number three: they feel abandoned and disrespected. Narcissists do not have a stable self-identity; their sense of self depends entirely on constant attention, validation, and the emotional labor of others—in this case, yours. To them, your bathroom break isn’t a natural, healthy part of life; it is abandonment. They feel rejected and disrespected; they feel left alone with their own emptiness, and they can’t handle that. They do not want a partner; they want a mother—someone who’s always available for that infant, who anticipates their needs, regulates their emotions, and never steps away, not even to pee. So the moment you are out of sight, they spiral. They throw tantrums, ask the same question again and again, shut off the water supply to make a point, and bang on the door until you are forced to respond. If you take too long, they rage. The bathroom becomes the battlefield where their abandonment wound plays out at your expense. I’ve seen this firsthand; my father used to do it all the time. Every time I stepped into the bathroom, there would be a knock. Every single time, he would ask, “What is taking you so long?” or “What are you even doing in there?” Not because he needed anything, but because he could not stand the idea of me having a moment he was not in control of. That’s how crazy it is. It was not about time; it was about power—about reminding me that even behind closed doors, I was still his property.
Reason 4: Disrupting Spiritual Cleansing
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