Let’s get started with number one: they leave forgotten items behind as anchors. A narcissist never actually forgets their belongings. When they leave something behind in your home—let’s say a toothbrush, a hoodie, a book, or even something as small as a hair tie—it’s not an accident. It is a calculated move.
How can I say this? Well, a narcissist once told me that everything they do is done with an outcome in mind. Nothing is random. They’re not the type of people who take establishing control lightly. They know what moves they need to make. That item is not just there; it’s a symbol, a psychological anchor, a way to keep their presence in your space even when they’re gone. It works on a subconscious level. You see the item, and your brain immediately associates it with them, right? Maybe it triggers a memory or sparks an emotion—positive or negative. It doesn’t matter as long as you think of them. Either way, it forces you to acknowledge their existence even if you are trying to move on.
And here’s the twisted part: if you try to return the item or throw it away, they’ll act offended. They’ll make it seem like you are overreacting or being petty. The real goal was never about the item itself; it was about keeping control over your space. Countless people have asked me, “The narcissists left, but they left their stuff behind—clothes, gaming consoles, mattresses. What do I do with all of that? Should I keep it or throw it away?” I say go ask a friend to help you dispose of it. If they don’t claim it, it’s not yours. Their stuff carries energy that binds you to them, and it needs to go.
Subtle Rearrangement: Exerting Control
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