Another trait of narcissists is a deep-rooted need for perfection. Narcissists believe they are flawless beings and demand the same level of perfection in every person and every situation in their lives. They meticulously plan, striving for ideal outcomes and expecting events to unfold exactly as they envision them. For them, anything less than flawless execution is unacceptable.
Yet, the world’s natural imperfections frequently disrupt their plans. Life’s inevitable messiness clashes with their idealized view of perfection, often leading them to cover up flaws at any cost, even if it means exploiting others. Narcissists pursue this impossible standard of perfection with intensity, and when their efforts fall short, it frequently leads to frustration or even outbursts of anger. These instances of “narcissistic rage” are expressions of their dissatisfaction with a world that refuses to conform to their exacting standards.
4. Obsessed with Control but Avoids Responsibility
The narcissist’s sense of entitlement and desire for perfection drive an obsessive need for control. The reality of an imperfect, unpredictable world contradicts their vision, leading them to try to shape events, people, and situations to fit their ideal. They often attempt to take charge of every detail, believing that control over everything will ensure that outcomes align with their expectations.
In their lives, narcissists view others as actors in a film, where they alone direct the plot. Each person is expected to follow the narcissist’s cues and support the narrative they’ve crafted. However, despite their desire for control, narcissists avoid taking responsibility if things don’t go as planned. They readily blame others for any flaws, rationalizing that their “perfect” image cannot be tarnished by failure. Should outcomes align with their expectations, however, they eagerly take credit, believing it reflects their brilliance. If things fall apart, they are quick to distance themselves, placing the responsibility squarely on someone else’s shoulders.
5. Disregards Boundaries Set by Others
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