The fourth habit is ignoring their red flags.
Each red flag you overlook becomes another brick in the fortress of their control. You might not intentionally ignore their behavior, but the trauma bond and cognitive dissonance make it hard to face the truth.
Narcissists aren’t consistently bad. They create high highs and low lows, leaving you emotionally drained. Your brain, trying to protect you, hyper-focuses on the positive moments while downplaying the abuse.
This denial keeps you trapped in their false reality, turning you into a silent, zombified victim. Narcissists interpret your silence as acceptance or submission, enabling their behavior further.
Habit 5: Trying to Fix Them
The fifth habit is attempting to fix them.
You might already know this, but a narcissist cannot be fixed. However, they exploit your hope and effort, stringing you along with promises like, I’m working on myself. I’ll change.
This is a manipulation tactic to keep you trapped. Over time, you lose your energy, opportunities, and sense of self, all while trying to “fix” them.
Rather than appreciating your efforts, they feel entitled to more. Your attempts to help only feed their narcissistic false self, reinforcing their grandiosity.
Conclusion
These habits are often trauma responses beyond a person’s control. But now that you’re aware, you can break the cycle.
- Stop justifying yourself.
- Don’t seek to please or fix the narcissist.
- Avoid staying silent when action is needed.
If you must respond, do so strategically and methodically. Giving them free rein only permits more abuse.
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