2. You overthink texts and conversations. Do you find yourself rereading texts multiple times before hitting send, or worse, after sending them? You’ve been conditioned to walk on eggshells. Narcissistic abuse teaches you that even the smallest word choice can lead to an argument, punishment, or silent treatment, so now every message feels like a potential trap. You wonder, “Did I sound rude?” or “Will they take this the wrong way?” It’s exhausting. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and author of Should I Stay or Should I Go, explains that narcissists create a dynamic where victims constantly second-guess themselves, even in face-to-face conversations. You might replay moments in your head, analyzing tone and expressions: “Did I sound too aggressive? Too needy? Did I offend them?” This habit comes from survival mode. You learned that the narcissist’s mood can flip over the smallest thing, and you’re left scrambling to figure out what you did wrong. Psychologist Dr. Carol McBride, author of Will I Ever Be Good Enough?, calls this narcissistic-induced self-doubt, where victims lose trust in their ability to communicate normally because they were trained to expect backlash for simply existing. The truth is, most people aren’t reading into your words the way you are. Healthy relationships don’t require you to decode hidden meanings or anticipate someone’s unspoken anger. If you notice yourself spiraling over a simple text or interaction, try pausing and asking yourself, “Would a reasonable person be upset over this?” Odds are, the answer is no. Learn to let go of the things that you can’t control, which includes the narcissist’s reactions.
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