5. You skip self-care routines like hygiene. You’ve likely spent so much time prioritizing the narcissist’s needs that you’ve forgotten how to care for yourself. Dr. Annie Cassina, author of Do You Choose Your Abuser Over Yourself?, explains that victims of emotional abuse often develop a pattern of self-neglect because they’ve been conditioned to believe their needs don’t matter. When your mind is weighed down by years of manipulation, even something as simple as washing your face can feel like an overwhelming task. Skipping hygiene can also be a form of subconscious rebellion. Maybe you were once forced to look a certain way or criticized no matter how much effort you put into your appearance. If your abuser nitpicked your clothing, hair, or body, self-care might feel pointless. Why bother if you’ll just be judged anyway? But remember this: reclaiming self-care is a powerful way to take back control. You don’t have to go from zero to a full skincare routine overnight. Start small: wash your face, change into fresh clothes, or brush your hair. These little acts of self-respect remind your brain that you matter. As trauma specialist Sarah Woodhouse puts it, “Caring for yourself isn’t about vanity; it’s about telling yourself every day, ‘I am worth the effort.’”
Breaking these habits won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Healing from narcissistic abuse is a process, not a quick fix. The important thing is that you’re becoming aware of how the past still affects you, and that means you’re already on the right track. Be kind to yourself, set boundaries, and remember that you deserve peace, not constant self-doubt. Little by little, you’ll take back your power and start living for yourself.
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