You may argue that narcissists love exposure. Yes, they love this kind of exposure. If you expose them and that exposure gets them a lot of admiration, validation, and adulation, and they’re put on a pedestal, this is what we can call a good form of exposure, and their weaknesses have not been exposed. They like to get collective attention, especially the overt type. But I’m talking about the bad type of exposure where you show the world who the narcissist is in reality, where you show them how weak they are, and their projected image is not who they are in reality; it is just something they have created to fool other people. An example of this could be you exposing how terrible of a parent they are or you showing everybody how they cheated on you and betrayed you, assuming that those people are not on the narcissist’s side. The narcissist’s false image is shattered, and now there is nothing they can do to uphold it because everything is evidence-based. That is what gives a narcissist a major and catastrophic ego injury, which could also lead to narcissistic collapse. They may lose all potential sources of supply. Let’s say you as their supply connect with all the future sources of supply and expose the narcissist, and let’s assume that those sources believe you. You contact the police, you contact their employer, and everybody gets to see the narcissist for who they are. That is what they are terrified of, which is why they do everything in their power to uphold that image and to make it seem like you are the crazy one. That’s why they’re such good manipulators, because everything they are depends on how they are perceived by others. So they hate, hate, hate this kind of exposure, and this is one of the primary reasons why they do not leave any clues behind. They know how to commit a crime and how to do it perfectly well.
Fear number three: a person with a strong sense of self.
A person with a strong sense of self, with a self-concept that’s based on their inner knowing and their connection with themselves, and with a strong sense of self-worth, is like a garlic necklace for these vampiric beings. They hate them. They hate people with a strong sense of self-esteem because their personalities cannot be defined by the narcissist. A narcissist loves to create a new personality for the victim they’re targeting. They love to put you in a mold; they have to tell you who you are slowly through manipulation and gaslighting. They have to instill that chronic doubt so that you start questioning your motives, your beliefs, and your thoughts. But think about this for a moment: If you know who you are, what you stand for, and most importantly, believe in yourself, trust your intuition, trust that you know what you’re doing, and trust that you are loyal, that you meant well, and that you are not what they are defining you as, wouldn’t the narcissist feel defeated? Wouldn’t they lose all control? Wouldn’t they feel like they have nothing to do here—no games to play against you? Because everything they say and do backfires. On the other hand, quite surprisingly, some narcissists, particularly those who are malignant, love to target people with a strong sense of self, with an established self-concept, and with high levels of self-confidence. Why, you may wonder? They love to bring them down. The only sad thing is that these people also have a high-functioning moral system. They believe in doing good, they believe in giving chances, they believe in being honest, and they believe in seeing and finding good in other people, and that is what gets weaponized against them. But imagine if such an individual equips themselves with the knowledge of how this narcissistic world operates and becomes aware of what we call the dark triad: Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. That can become their superpower, and they can become undefeatable, especially for the narcissist.
Fear number four: when they know how much they hate themselves.
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