You know them, and you know how much they hate themselves. They tremble, and they pee in their pants. Why? Because a narcissist is all about projection. A narcissist eventually projects their insecurities, their shame, and everything bad that they cannot accept about themselves onto you and makes it your reality. Unfortunately, most of us fall for it because of how convincing they are and because of the fact that they are master manipulators. But if you know that everything they’re saying and doing—every single behavior, their action, their thoughts, their beliefs—is all about them hating themselves for being the way they are, you won’t take it personally. And if you don’t take it personally, how will they ever be able to impact you? If they’re not able to impact you, what kind of power will they have over you? If they don’t have any power over you, they will fail, and a narcissist cannot stand failure.
If you take a stand for yourself and if you dig very strong and clear, unshakable, unbreakable boundaries, if you do not justify yourself, if you do not take anything personally, if you do not explain yourself, if you do not defend, if you do not argue, how will they acquire supply? How will they gain the nutrition they need from you to survive? What kind of fuel will they be able to extract if you are not reacting to them, neither positively nor negatively? That is their ultimate failure, and the narcissist fears you seeing them for who they are because they want you to believe that this humongous, monstrous entity is all-powerful, but when you see that broken little child, that child living in an adult’s body, and you see their actions as tantrums, they lose power.
Fear number five: They are terrified of authentic people.
People who are empathetic—people who are truth-tellers—can’t stand whistleblowers. They can’t stand those who are not afraid of telling them who they are and that they are not as powerful as they like to think about themselves. They hate empathetic people because they can’t have that empathy for others. They crave it; they want you to offer all of it to them, but at the same time, they dislike it because they think you are putting on an act of being nice. You’re not being genuinely nice; they say, “Oh, come on, stop doing this; stop acting nice to all these people; you want to think you want them to think you’re nice when you’re not.” That is a clear projection. That is the confession, like that is why they act nice; whenever they are nice, they want other people to think a certain way, but they are not genuinely kind. They are terrified of your authenticity because they know they can’t stand it. They may try all the tactics to bring you down or destroy you, but your authenticity is your core value, and they can’t take it away from you. They’re like oil and water; they cannot be mixed. They try to mix it, they try to bring you down, they try to demoralize you, and they try to alter your personality, because in doing that lies their success. However, they never succeed in changing you at your core. They may trigger some trauma-based alterations in your cognition, the way you think about yourself, your emotions, and all that, but that heals away and they remain the same; that is their story. They hate you as a truth-teller because they want you to believe their illusion; they want everybody to believe their illusion, which is why the world a narcissist lives in is not the real world; it is fantasy-based; it is an extension of their own false self since everything in their imaginary world enables their ego strokes. You, as a truth-teller and an authentic and empathetic being, cannot do that, won’t do that, and that irks them. They want to change it; they want to somehow make you believe what you are not ready to believe because there is no foundation for it, and that is what they are terrified of the most because there is no way for them to deal with it.
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