You could be sitting across from them, pouring your heart out. You could be explaining how much something hurt you, how deeply wounded you feel, hoping, even praying deep down, for just a shred of human empathy. And they will nod. They will tilt their head at the right moment. They might even murmur the right sounds of concern. Will you believe that? But their eyes will give it away. You will notice the glaze, the deadness, the reptilian hollowness behind their gaze as you speak. It’s not tiredness. It looks like distraction, but it’s not. It is the absence of connection. They’re not feeling what you are feeling, what you want them to feel. They are not traveling with you into the trenches of your experience. They are observing you like a specimen, measuring how your vulnerability can be used later. The body is present, but the spirit behind the eyes has checked out. And that’s why I say it’s not empathy; it is calculation wearing the mask of concern.
The shift to predatory staring when they sense you are weak or in a weak state.
There is a moment with a narcissist when your energy drops. It could be after you have cried, after you have given up arguing, after you have shown clear signs of utter exhaustion. And it is right then, when you are most raw, that their eyes change. What was once passive-aggressive irritation or fake concern sharpens into something colder. Their gaze turns predatory, very focused but hungry. You can literally feel the shift in the air around you. It’s the moment they realize you’re too tired to fight back. And instead of comforting you, their eyes, their energy, turn heavier, become invasive. They lean in emotionally, sometimes physically, as if closing the gap to finish what they started. The kindness disappears. The pretending stops. For a few seconds, you see the real face underneath: a hunter who has cornered its prey. They may still say the soft words. They may still whisper reassurances, but the eyes are not soothing. They are feeding on you, watching your collapse the way a starving man watches food cook over a fire. That is the real narcissist unveiled, not when they’re attacking, but when they sense you have finally surrendered.
The flicker of panic when they realize you see through them.
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