Number one: Name Dropping for Relevance
A defeated narcissist does not know how to sit in silence with their lowered status. So, they start dropping names that are not even connected to the moment. You will hear them talk about a friend who works in film, or someone they almost went into business with, or a person they once dated who is now successful—a big shot. It feels random, and that’s exactly what it is. This kind of name-dropping is their way of grasping for borrowed relevance. They feel small, so they reach for names that may inflate their image, even if no one in the room knows who they’re talking about. It’s like they’re trying to put a famous sticker on a broken identity.
You will see them do this in very specific ways. For example, they may walk into a restaurant and casually mention to the waiter that they know the owner or the manager. Or they will ask, “Is so-and-so working today?” just loud enough for others to hear, hoping someone will be impressed. It is not about who is there; actually, it’s about who they can pretend to be. And when it does not land, they look even more desperate.
Number two: Recycling Stories for Validation
They repeat the same story more than once but slightly altered. When their image starts slipping, narcissists go back to their greatest hits—the stories they think worked before. The story never stays the same. The details shift, the outcome changes, and the role they play becomes more heroic, tragic, or admirable. They are editing themselves in real time. You may even catch them starting the same story twice in one conversation. They may stop halfway through because they forget who they already told. Or they’ll tell you the same story you have heard a thousand times, yet they will tell it with the exact same exaggerated tone, the same dramatic pauses, and the same intense expressions as if it is brand new.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
