Number four: Fixation on Others’ Mistakes
They obsess over small mistakes other people make. When the narcissist is collapsing on the inside, they get petty on the outside. You will notice it: a slip of the tongue, a small error, a harmless joke suddenly becomes their opportunity to pounce. They make sarcastic comments, repeat your mistake in a mocking tone, and turn a tiny flaw into a character judgment. It is about leverage. They are losing their own footing, so what do they do? They try to shake everyone else’s.
This is also why a lot of narcissists become crankier with age. As they get older, their mask weakens, and their tolerance for not being the center of attention shrinks. Their energy no longer supports the performance. So, what do they do? They rely more heavily on whatever small tactics still work. Hyperfixation on mistakes becomes a quick way to feel bigger. Interestingly, this behavior shows up when they’re around someone they normally cannot bring down easily—someone confident, calm, or emotionally grounded. They wait for that one small stumble. That moment becomes their chance to feel superior again. If they cannot feel good, they need someone else to feel bad. You will feel it in their tone: it’s sharp, unnecessary, and it’s never really about what was said. It is the power they feel slipping away.
Number five: Humiliating Partners Publicly
They make jokes about their partner in front of others. This one is often passed off as teasing, but there’s nothing playful about it. You will hear them say things like, “Oh, that’s just my wife being so dramatic again,” or “You know how useless he is with directions.” It sounds casual, but it cuts deep, especially when it is done in front of others. What they are doing is restoring hierarchy. They are trying to put their partner in a box—one that makes them look stronger by comparison. It is subtle humiliation, and it often leaves the partner smiling awkwardly, unsure how to respond.
These jokes are not about humor; they’re about dominance. Your pain becomes their currency. The discomfort you feel in those moments becomes the energy that props them back up. They need to see you flinch. They need to see others laugh at your expense. That reaction gives them a temporary high and relief from their internal collapse. It makes them feel like they still have control over someone. So, they keep doing it again and again and again, using your dignity to hold on to their own false sense of power.
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