They take pictures of you when you are in a compromised position. Let’s say you’re sleeping, you’re drunk, or you are unclothed. Why? To shame you. They share these pictures non-consensually in the groups they’re part of, with their friends, to make fun of you, of your body, to objectify you, to give you away and let them look at you, to let them enjoy you. That is also a betrayal. And they may not share it with anybody. They may pull up an image later and say, “See? What are you talking about? This is how fat you are. This is how ugly you are. See how you look when you sleep?” And there will be a smirk on their face, or they may laugh at it right in your face, make jokes about you. They’ll humiliate you, how silly you look when you’re drunk. When you get drunk with somebody to the point of, let’s say, losing it, that means you trust that person, that means it’s okay for you to be vulnerable around them. But when you see a picture of yourself taken in a vulnerable state, it breaks you in a way. It shatters your capability to trust them, and that is when that sense of hypervigilance gets activated because you do not know what to expect next and how they are going to destroy you and what the attack will be like.
The moment the camera is on, they change their appearance:
Suddenly they’re empathetic, they’re involved and present, but the moment it’s turned off, it’s as if a switch is turned off in them as well. Have you experienced that? Let me know in the comments. They can manufacture a smile at will. If you ask them, “Let’s take a picture,” they may not want to do it. But if somebody asks them to do it with them, let’s say a stranger, they’ll be all kind, they’ll be all nice, and look like such a great personality in that picture with that person, or even with you. But once that camera is off and lenses are shut, you will see the same monster self, and that is what makes it so confusing for a lot of people. I can’t tell you how many narcissistic abuse survivors have shared their confusion with me. They say or have said, “I don’t understand. Look at this picture. In this picture, he or she looks so good. We’re smiling. It felt like we were together, but why? Who is this person that I’m dealing with? I don’t understand.” That is the game. Their game is to fool you. Their game is to fool others. They appear different in pictures because it’s about image, literally it is about image, and that’s how they shape their narrative. That’s what they want others to see. But when you are dealing with them in private, eyes aren’t on them, which gives them total freedom to be the way they want to, and the only way they choose is to be rude and abusive.
Making silly faces when taking pictures with you:
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