6 Disturbing Personality Changes Narcissists Go Through As they Get Older
As a narcissist gets older, many personality changes begin to take place. Don’t make the mistake of thinking these changes are signs of goodness, maturity, or softness, as if they mellow with time. That’s not what happens. Over time they often become worse and even more miserable, to the point that living with them becomes nearly impossible for anyone, regardless of who they are or what they have accomplished.
As a narcissist ages, their charm begins to fade and people start leaving one by one. Because of that, they become so hungry for control that they grow extremely reactive over the smallest things. They become aggressive and throw tantrums like a child. It reaches a point where they almost act like a clown. Their childishness becomes obvious and their hypocrisy reveals itself openly. The same narcissist who once seemed composed and controlled can now become very reactive. They can no longer hide their inner chaos. The smallest things trigger them and the bitterness inside them rises to another level.
When a healthy person grows older, they often begin to rise above many worldly things and start understanding what truly matters. But this kind of narcissist can stoop to any level for money, power, and control. They can do almost anything for those things—they literally destroy the world around them. In the process, they burn bridges so recklessly that they push themselves even deeper into ruin. It’s as if they are preparing their own downfall with their own hands, and you can see it happening. The worst part is that they think they are doing the right thing. That is why I say they start acting like clowns at this stage. In old age they become so miserable that they themselves do not fully understand what they are doing because it makes no sense to anyone.
Earlier, a narcissist usually had a strategy. They were more calculating, planned, and deliberate in the way they did things. But the aging narcissist I’m talking about can become almost foolish. They will do anything—especially for respect, the respect they never gave to others but constantly demanded for themselves. They feel that they must be respected at all times.
Number one: they start weaponizing their health for attention, control, and guilt-trapping. One of the most disturbing changes that happens when a narcissist gets older is that they start using their health as a tool. You know how they create fake emergencies? The moment they see things are okay in your life—or that their children, family members, or ex-partner are finally moving on and finding peace without them—they can’t tolerate it. They need to pull attention back to themselves. So what do they do? They suddenly start creating health dramas. They may act as if they are very unwell: claiming they almost fell, that their heart is not doing well, that it’s racing too fast or not at all, or that they are about to have a heart attack and you must show up or else you will lose them forever. They’ll talk about dangerously high blood pressure or behave as if something terrible could happen at any moment.
Sometimes it’s real exaggeration; other times it’s performance, timed so perfectly that you cannot see through it and fail to understand that it’s not about health—it’s about extreme control. That is what makes it so toxic. It fills you with anger because after attempting a rescue you feel violated and taken advantage of. They know that when health enters the picture, most people—especially you—will become careful and drop their defenses in an instant. People feel guilty and obligated; if the narcissist has been horrible, others may still feel they cannot just abandon them. Their fear, a sense of obligation, and guilt take over, and they come back to rescue them—that’s what the narcissist wants. You ask, “What if they collapse?” This is exactly how the narcissist traps you and takes control.
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