6 Disturbing Personality Changes Narcissists Go Through As they Get Older
Number two: they become more addicted to revenge—even when it costs them everything. A normal person, as they grow older, often realizes that peace matters more than anger or unresolved issues. They begin to make things right with family, children, siblings, or a partner they may have hurt or abandoned. An aging narcissist does the opposite. Their ego hardens rather than softens. Even when they know deep down they will end up alone, there is no real willingness to bend, reflect, or repair. Instead, they become more stubborn, prideful, and determined to prove a point—even if proving it ruins their own life. They would rather stay angry than be at peace; they would rather lose a relationship than lose their ego.
They will create division, make threats, withhold money, fight over property, or make life difficult for everyone around them rather than accept they were wrong. This is where they become extremely ugly around money. They may flaunt money to dominate, insult, or buy control. Other times they become cheap and petty about every dollar spent or saved. They can become greedy and shameless about material possessions, dangling financial leverage to get you to do what you wouldn’t do otherwise. The revenge I’m describing makes them smaller, uglier, and ultimately exposed.
Number three: they become more childish than ever when they don’t get their way. I’m not talking about innocent childishness—children have innocence. This is a different thing: a regressed adult acting out in cruel, petulant ways. As they age, many narcissists do not mature; their worse tendencies intensify and may present as delusional paranoia or near-psychosis. If things don’t go according to their wishes, they throw emotional tantrums that are shocking for their age. They sulk, mock, raise their voice, create scenes, or stop speaking. They act offended over tiny things and make the whole atmosphere heavy. Age may increase, but emotional development has not. Sometimes old age strips their defenses so much that the child trapped inside becomes more visible. They act in embarrassing, irrational, and deeply immature ways. They may be old in years but, in conflict, behave like a wounded, enraged child with extreme power issues.
Number four: hypocrisy becomes more openly visible. When they were younger they were better at hiding contradictions and maintaining a cleaner image. They could sound polished and pretend to be fair, wise, or dignified. As they age, that façade starts to fade and their hypocrisy becomes more apparent. They demand respect as if you owe it to them. They want loyalty while betraying others. They seek understanding while offering none in return. They expect endless patience for their pain while mocking everyone else’s. The older they get, the less able they are to hide these contradictions. Their shapeshifting becomes impossible to miss. People around them grow mentally exhausted because nothing about them feels honest. They expect one set of rules for themselves and another for everyone else.
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