Yes, this is one big reason why narcissists are mean. They do not have true empathy. The reason why narcissists can be mean at times is due to a lack of empathy, and the reason why is quite simple. They have no compassion because they have no interest in you. Put simply, narcissists only care for themselves. Instead, they are fixated on themselves in ways out of proportion to any rational scale. From an early age, they had their needs met by their parents, and they seem to grow up without recognizing or responding to anyone else’s needs. It’s not your fault that a narcissist lacks something vital to human development. You were a game piece used to feed their ego. But moving forward, you need to realize that this person will not respond to you on an emotional level the way that a healthy person does. Narcissists lack empathy because that’s how they’re wired. Trying to get them to empathize with you is going against their natural wiring because it would require them to desire your feelings more than their own.
Lastly, narcissists thrive on control.
Control is paramount for narcissists. They need to dictate every aspect of their surroundings, ensuring they remain at the center of attention and power. Any hint of autonomy or independence threatens their fragile sense of superiority, prompting them to lash out in an attempt to regain control. This need for dominance extends to their relationships, where they manipulate and exploit others to maintain their position of authority. If you find yourself entangled with a narcissist, expect constant power struggles and coercion as they strive to bend you to their will. For some people in the narcissist’s life, you may want to just get along with their mean personality and demands to avoid the rages and coldness. Don’t believe the lie that you’re special and will be saved. It’s critical to recognize the narcissists in your life for who they are, not who you wish they were. Stop making excuses for harmful behavior and downplaying the damage it causes. It will not go away if you deny it. Because narcissists are often challenging to change, the essential question is whether you can continuously live this way. Rather than getting caught up in the narcissist’s fantasies, concentrate on what you desire for yourself. By understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder, you can now detect narcissists, protect yourself from their plays, and hopefully establish healthier boundaries.
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