7. Getting Startled and Nervous When Someone Knocks at the Door
A simple knock at the door might make you jump or feel suddenly nervous. This reaction stems from the fear of what might be on the other side. Living in a high-stress environment where even a knock could lead to conflict, your body learns to react this way. It’s as if your brain is constantly on alert, anticipating something negative. This constant state of being on edge doesn’t go away easily, even when you’re no longer in that toxic environment. You might still react to knocks at the door with a spike of anxiety, as if danger is lurking just outside.
Trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk writes in “The Body Keeps the Score” that trauma changes how we respond to everyday stimuli, often making us hypersensitive to potential threats. It’s as if your brain is stuck in survival mode. The good news is that over time, with therapy or mindfulness practices, you can retrain your nervous system. You can start to feel safe again, even when someone knocks. It’s all about taking small steps to remind your body and mind that you’re no longer in danger.
Breaking free from these strange behaviors isn’t easy, but it’s possible. If you’re reading this, you’re already on the right path—recognizing that something’s not quite right is the first step toward healing. These habits were formed out of survival, but now it’s time to unlearn them and reclaim your peace. Remember, healing takes time, and it’s okay to take small steps. Be kind to yourself, and don’t rush the process. With the right support and a little patience, you can leave these old patterns behind and start living a life that’s healthier, happier, and free from the shadow of narcissistic abuse.
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