Narcissists ruminate when they are alone, so they replay conversations or interactions in their minds repetitively, selectively focusing on aspects of the conversation that reinforce their self-image as superior, successful, or admired. They might dwell on compliments that they received, instances where they asserted their dominance or control, or situations where they believe that they were the center of attention. By replaying these interactions, they seek to bolster their ego and maintain their inflated sense of self-importance. Also, narcissists may sometimes fixate on perceived slights or criticisms during these mental replays; however, they usually reinterpret these situations in a way that minimizes any of their flaws or faults and instead place the blame on others or dismiss the criticism altogether.
Triangulation:
When a narcissist is alone, they are often on their phone, creating conflict, chaos, competition, and manipulating others from a distance, always stirring the pot, creating drama, and trying to gain a sense of control over people and situations. Since they have such a deep fear of being perceived as inadequate or flawed, they are often triangulating the people in their lives as a way to boost their own self-image and maintain control over their sources of supply. Again, by creating conflict and competition, triangulation involves bringing third parties into a relationship dynamic, typically by comparing or contrasting one person with another. This tactic is used to isolate and gaslight others by sowing seeds of doubt, jealousy, insecurity, creating division among these people, and making them more susceptible to the narcissist’s manipulations.
Recklessness & Impulsivity: When left alone with their thoughts, a narcissist often feels very shameful, so to cope with these feelings, they often engage in activities that provide instant gratification, such as substance use, excessive shopping, or reckless sexual activities. These things offer instant distractions and immediate gratification, allowing the narcissist to temporarily escape from the emotional discomfort that they are experiencing.
Hoovering:
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