So you send a nice long text, and lo and behold, something triggers them, and they send you a barrage of hostile, raging texts filled with insults, accusations, threats aimed at intimidating or punishing you for whatever you said to offend them. Even if your text was 99% positive, if there was any expectation or suggestion that the narcissist might be responsible for anything, then they will respond only to that one small part of your text that triggered them, without any consideration for the rest of the message. Then you may spend hours and hours going back and forth trying to defend, explain, apologize, or get back to the point, but they’ll have none of it. It’s no longer about the main thing; now it’s about this other thing. Typically, they’re doing this because they are so easily slighted and can’t take any accountability whatsoever. So instead of acting like a reasonable person, they go off on you in vicious and dramatic ways. There will be lots of caps to emphasize and dramatize their anger. They go at you by text like a pitbull until you accept all of the blame. Once you do, they feel good and can relax. So you might find that soon after a huge, nasty text exchange, they’re completely fine and acting as though nothing happened.
Number 11 is always texting to find out where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re with.
Narcissists will often insist that you check in with them several times a day, wanting to know where you are, what you’re doing, who you’re doing it with. They’ll say that they’re just curious or that it’s because they care, and of course, there are times when this is entirely appropriate and reasonable. However, when it comes to a narcissist, it’s really about control. So let’s say you were in a work meeting for an hour, and when you finish the meeting, you check your phone and you see that you have 15 text messages and some missed calls. For a narcissist, this is likely not indicative of an emergency, but rather that they are demanding your immediate attention. Like, how dare you not prioritize them over everyone and everything else? You have work deadlines or meetings, who cares? Not them, at least not when they want something. And yet, they expect you to be waiting by the phone at all times, checking in with them constantly, always available to cater to their need for attention, admiration, and validation. The overload of texts is meant to send a message: pay attention to me now, and I won’t stop until you do.
Number 12 is baiting you into arguments and fights.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
