Secret 8: Punishing Confidants
Number eight: they confessed their real self to someone and then punished them for knowing it. There was one moment—maybe as a teenager or in their early twenties—when the narcissist let someone see who they really were without any masks or lies, just raw truth. It may have been a girlfriend, a best friend, a boyfriend, or a cousin—someone they felt oddly safe with. For a split second, they told the truth; they admitted they felt empty, liked hurting others, or that they lied a lot and didn’t feel guilt. But once that person saw through them, the narcissist turned against them—not because they were betrayed, but because they could not stand being seen without the mask. So they punished the witness; they ghosted them, slandered them, and humiliated them. Because nothing enrages a narcissist more than someone who knows the truth and speaks the truth. This is why they never open up again; they are scared of being known, scared of being seen as they are—totally rotten and full of shame.
Conclusion
All in all, I would say the narcissist was not born overnight; they were built piece by piece, secret by secret, every disturbing memory buried like a landmine beneath their smile. So if you ever wonder why they feel so cold and calculated, now you know: it is not about what they have shown you; it’s about what they have hidden. They did not just hurt people in their adulthood; they started long before you ever met them, and they have been perfecting the performance ever since. That is what you must accept if you want to let the healing begin and continue.
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