Number five: healthy limits and boundaries.
When communicating with anyone who lands on the spectrum of destructive narcissism, it’s important to know upfront and be prepared for the fact that you will have to manage the narcissist and the conversation in order to keep them on track. And in order to do this, you’ll have to know how to set healthy limits and boundaries and stick to your guns.
For example, no, we’re not discussing the mistake I made last year or how much you dislike my friends and family right now. This conversation is about such and such. If you want to continue the conversation, you’ll have to stick to the topic at hand or please lower your voice. If you continue to yell at me and call me names, the conversation will be over. And when they continue to yell at you or call you names, either hang up the phone or leave the room.
It’s important to follow through on what you say you’re going to do without hesitation or backtracking. So they know to take you seriously moving forward. Every time you cave, you lose credibility. So stand your ground. And if they go so far as to follow you around the house, ask them to leave the house or leave the house yourself, letting them know that you will not be back until they’ve calmed down and are ready and able to have a civil conversation. Period. That’s the end of the story.This is not a negotiation.
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