Next, let’s talk about number four: refusing to share good news. According to trauma therapist Beverly Engel, victims often develop what’s called success guilt—the fear that being proud or joyful will lead to judgment or rejection. When you’ve lived under the shadow of a narcissist, celebrating anything—even something small like a compliment or a good day—can feel dangerous. You learned that your wins weren’t welcome. Maybe they were mocked, ignored, or twisted into some competition.
So now, even when something amazing happens, you catch yourself thinking, “Better keep this to myself.” You end up shrinking yourself, not because you don’t want to shine, but because you were trained to believe your light is offensive. This coping mechanism is all about emotional safety. If your joy once triggered someone else’s rage, jealousy, or guilt-tripping, your brain now associates celebrating with consequences. So you protect yourself by staying quiet, even if a part of you is screaming to be proud. But here’s the truth: your wins are not threats; they’re proof that despite everything, you still rose. And you don’t have to apologize for that. You get to celebrate your growth loudly, joyfully, and without shame.
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