Let’s keep it moving to number seven: talking to themselves a lot. According to trauma specialist Dr. Janina Fisher, when people are denied the opportunity to express their pain or truth, they find ways to complete the loop internally, even if it’s just through imagined dialogue. If you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, talking to yourself might have become your secret coping tool. You might find yourself replaying old conversations, defending yourself out loud, or saying the things you wish you could have said when it actually mattered. No, you’re not losing it; you’re trying to find emotional closure in a story that never gave you a proper ending.
So whether it’s apologizing to the air or telling off someone who’s long gone, you’re giving your nervous system the release it never got. It might seem odd from the outside, but it’s actually a survival strategy. Life coach Mustin Kip explains it perfectly: the body doesn’t care if closure is real or imagined; it just needs to be felt. You were silenced, invalidated, and probably gaslit into believing your feelings didn’t matter. So now you talk to yourself not because you’re crazy, but because that’s the only safe place you’ve had to speak freely. And honestly, that’s a sign of resilience. You’re giving yourself the validation others refuse to offer, and that’s powerful.
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