If you ignore this, you’ll regret it later. It’s not to scare you, but because it’s something many people miss until it’s too late. These are strange, sometimes even misunderstood behaviors that helped someone, especially victims of narcissistic abu*se, survive the emotional chaos. Let’s break down the unusual coping mechanisms that narcissistic abu*se victims develop.
Are you ready for number one?
Hyper-productivity as a distraction. What if your to-do list isn’t just about getting things done, but about avoiding what you’re afraid to feel? If you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, staying constantly busy might not be about drive; it could be your brain’s sneaky way of coping. You might feel this compulsive need to always be doing something—like cleaning, fixing, planning, or organizing—like your life depends on it. And honestly, in a way, it does. It’s not because you love productivity, although that’s what you tell people; it’s because stillness feels unsafe. When things get quiet, the thoughts start creeping in: the self-doubt, the shame, the painful flashbacks. So your mind says, “Hey, if I can keep moving, I don’t have to feel all that.” Dr. Janina Fisher, a trauma expert, explains this beautifully: survivors of trauma often develop behaviors that are aimed not at thriving but at surviving. Hyper-productivity isn’t ambition; it’s emotional self-defense in a business suit.
And let’s be real: society loves this coping mechanism. You get praised for it. You’re the hard worker, the organized one, the person who gets stuff done. But beneath that praise is often a silent scream for rest, peace, and permission to just be. Healing doesn’t come from doing more, but from learning to sit in the quiet without crumbling. You’re not lazy if you rest; you’re brave if you dare to stop.
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