They hate the fact that you break those chains every single time. You wake up, ask questions, have a voice, and hold on to your opinions. Yes, they bend your reality and reshape it, but ultimately, you raise concerns they cannot suppress through their manipulation. This is what your resilience is all about.
Another reason they hate your perseverance and resilience is that they cannot abuse you fully in all the ways they want to. They want to treat you like a doormat and walk all over you, and to a certain degree, they do that because you love them and because of the gaslighting, cognitive dissonance, and trauma bonding. But they know that beyond that, there is an aware element in you that knows who they are and will eventually leave them, which is something they hate. They do not want that element to be there. They do not want this cognitive dissonance to exist. They want absolute brainwashing and total mind control. They want you to fully accept the illusion they cast as your reality. They want you to blend in with their false ego and live as part of it. But they miserably fail to make that happen.
Yes, you struggle and suffer and have so much confusion about the relationship, but deep down, you also have the awareness of what you are dealing with and that you need to leave one day. It may be difficult for you to take those steps—maybe children are involved, maybe finances are involved, and you are afraid—but deep down, you are getting ready, and that is the part they want to kill. They want you to truly believe, or rather know, that they are a good person and blame yourself entirely. They do not want you to ask questions like “Maybe he did that to me and that’s why I am this way,” or “She did that to me and that’s why I behave that way,” or to realize that they are the problem, not you. They do not want you to have that awareness. That is your perseverance speaking; that is your resilience showing up. They want to dial it down, suppress it, and lock it up. But because they can’t, they fail, and that’s why they hate it.
Strange Traits of People Mentally Abused By Narcissists
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