Unfortunately, I know this all too well. I spent much of my life trying to care for my covertly narcissistic mother, constantly feeling guilty and responsible for her well-being. Her slightest change in voice would send me scrambling to fix things.
This brings us to voice type three—the “rageful” voice. When a narcissist is enraged, it’s as if they are channeling pure hatred. Their voice becomes dark and growling as they try to psychologically attack and tear you down. The shift from sweet to rageful is jarring and demonstrates their splitting behavior. You crave their approval, fearing the consequences of their disapproval, which triggers deep abandonment wounds.
The fourth type of voice is the “dead, emotionless” voice—the narcissist’s true self. Emotionally hollow, they use this voice when they no longer see you as valuable. Once you’re no longer a primary source of supply, they disengage and show no interest in you. This voice shouldn’t be confused with conditions like autism or trauma responses. Always consider the context and other behaviors to understand the bigger picture.
In conclusion, narcissists wear many masks, and some are specifically reserved for changing their voice to control your emotions. From sweet to martyr to rageful or dead, these voices are tools of manipulation.
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