Let’s talk about what this might look like if you are being sucked in by someone high on the narcissistic scale and are accidentally being pulled into this drama triangle. It could look like this: the person pulling you into the drama triangle by talking negatively about someone else is trying to get you to take sides on a specific issue. The problem might be between them and another coworker or family member, but there’s pressure for you to take sides. It’s not just sharing a problem; there’s this underlying thought that now that you know, you must be on their side.
Another way you might accidentally get sucked into a drama triangle is when someone is trying to make you the judge of who’s right and wrong. Often, this involves people who shouldn’t be in that position, like parents arguing and pulling in a child to choose who’s right. Another common way is through gossip, which we’ll discuss later. These are ways the narcissist tries to place you in the rescuer role of the drama triangle.
Now, let’s switch to ways you might accidentally find yourself in the persecutor role. One common example involves a dynamic between three people—family members, coworkers, or friends—where you suddenly feel like you’re constantly being excluded. Every time you’re with the other two, you feel invisible and ignored, yet when you bring it up, you’re accused of being jealous or problematic.
Another way a malignant narcissist forces you into the persecutor role is by treating you unkindly and disrespectfully when no one is looking, but when others are around, they completely change their behavior. You might not even notice because you’re still in shock from how they treated you before. This makes you look bad in public while they seem wonderful to everyone else. This creates chaos, and they point the finger at your reactions, making it seem like you’re the problem.
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