The first step is becoming aware of the dynamic. Now that you know what triangulation looks like, it’s easier to spot it when it happens. Pay attention to how people are interacting with you. Are they trying to pull you into a drama triangle? Are they gossiping or comparing you to someone else to make you feel insecure? Being aware of these patterns is key to stopping them.
2. Stay Neutral
If someone is trying to pull you into a drama triangle, the best thing you can do is stay neutral. Don’t take sides, don’t engage in the gossip, and don’t let them pull you into their game. If someone is talking negatively about someone else, you can simply respond with something neutral like, “I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that. I hope things work out.” This keeps you out of the triangle and prevents the narcissist from using you to divide and conquer.
3. Set Boundaries
If you notice someone constantly trying to manipulate you through triangulation, it’s important to set boundaries. You might need to distance yourself from that person or limit your interactions with them. If they start gossiping or comparing you to others, you can politely but firmly shut it down by saying something like, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this” or “I don’t think it’s helpful to compare people like that.” This sends a clear message that you won’t engage in their manipulation.
4. Don’t React
One of the narcissist’s goals in triangulation is to provoke a reaction from you. They want you to get upset, jealous, or defensive so they can point the finger at you and say, “See, you’re the problem!” The best way to protect yourself is to stay calm and composed. Don’t give them the reaction they’re looking for. If you stay grounded, they lose their power over you.
5. Trust Your Instincts
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