For a narcissist, love can often translate to supply. It can mean adoration, control, infatuation, or desire. Their “love” may depend on how well things are going for them at any given moment. You might hear grand declarations of love when they receive good news or are in a favorable mood, but these moments are fleeting and self-serving.
When a narcissist says “I love you,” what they may truly mean is, “I love how you make me feel right now.” Their focus is primarily on themselves, making it difficult for them to genuinely understand love as it applies to another person.
The Impact on Children of Narcissists
Children of narcissistic parents often grapple with the same questions: “Did my parent love me?” Narcissistic parents may view their children as extensions of themselves, sources of validation, or social status. When these children ask about love, they may receive dismissive or contemptuous responses, which only adds to their confusion and hurt.
When relationships with narcissists end or when betrayal occurs, the question remains: Did they ever love me? The narcissist’s primary self-focus means that their version of love is likely to feel hollow and self-serving. It often becomes a testament to the function you served for them rather than a mutual connection.
Challenging Self-Doubt
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