This questioning can lead many to wonder if they are unlovable. Let me be clear: you are very lovable. If you find yourself in a narcissistic relationship, it’s not about your worthiness of love; it’s about their inability to engage in deep, meaningful love.
Redefining Love
So, what is love? Is it actions, words, energy? This question can be complicated. Love is often about consistent actions and the absence of harmful behaviors. If someone can’t love us, it doesn’t mean we are unlovable; it means that they simply lack the capacity to engage in love.
For many, the real tragedy of narcissism is this inability to participate in one of the most fulfilling human experiences—love and being loved. Without this ability, they miss out on one of life’s greatest gifts.
Finding Your Own Answers
You may never receive a clear answer to this question from a narcissist. However, you can answer it for yourself. Most narcissistic individuals cannot step outside themselves long enough to be mutually present with another person. So, perhaps by your definition, they did not love you. But by their own standards, they may have believed they did.
Ultimately, love can be defined not by what the other person says, but by how you feel. Reflect on your experiences and recognize that your feelings matter.
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