Another dangerous game of the covert narcissist is their use of the silent treatment and passive aggression. Covert narcissists often use passive-aggressive tactics like the silent treatment to control and punish their victims. Instead of openly expressing their displeasure or anger, they withdraw affection or communication, leaving the target to guess what they did wrong. This silent treatment can last for days, weeks, or even months, creating significant anxiety and distress in the victim, who may feel desperate to figure out what’s wrong or make amends. This is the goal of the covert narcissist—reestablishing dominance and control over the target. The silent treatment, in particular, is one of the more cruel forms of manipulation and abuse tactics that covert narcissists are prone to use. Remember, normal adults don’t go silent when there’s a problem; they openly communicate. If you have someone in your life who gives you the silent treatment, take a closer look at this individual, as you may be dealing with a covert narcissist.
Emotional withholding is another game covert narcissists absolutely love to use. Emotional withholding is a subtle yet powerful form of manipulation where they withhold love, affection, approval, or emotional support as a way to punish or control their victim. By creating an emotional vacuum, the narcissist keeps their target in a state of longing and uncertainty, making them more dependent on the narcissist for emotional fulfillment. Normal people do not withhold love and emotional support from those they care about. If you find yourself in a relationship where you are constantly seeking approval or affection that never seems to come, or if emotional support is given only on this person’s terms, emotional withholding may be at play. This tactic is designed to keep you off balance and emotionally dependent.
Next, they love to exploit the insecurities of others. Covert narcissists are skilled at identifying the insecurities of those around them and using them to their advantage. They might bring up past failures, physical flaws, or other vulnerabilities at opportune moments to undermine their target’s confidence. By preying on these insecurities, they keep their victims feeling inadequate and dependent on the narcissist for validation. They may disguise their exploitation as a joke or express concern, but don’t buy into that narrative. Anytime someone humiliates or embarrasses another person, no matter how they present it, it’s a big red flag.
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