This pattern of intrusiveness doesn’t end when you hit adulthood. In fact, it often continues, albeit in more subtle forms. Narcissistic parents or family members may continue to intrude on your time, your relationships, your choices, and even your physical space. They will tell you how to dress, what to eat, who to date, and when to spend time with them. If you try to assert your own preferences or boundaries, you’re met with resistance, criticism, and guilt-tripping. “We’re family. I’m just being honest. I’m only looking out for you.”
The same entitlement that narcissists feel towards your time and attention as children extends into adulthood. They may show up uninvited to your home, rearrange your furniture, or even offer unsolicited opinions about your appearance or lifestyle. They may criticize your weight, your food choices, your clothes, or your career. And when you protest or set limits, you’re dismissed as overly sensitive, or worse, accused of being ungrateful or disrespectful.
The Hypocrisy of Narcissistic Intrusiveness
What makes intrusiveness especially harmful in narcissistic relationships is the hypocrisy that often accompanies it. Narcissists feel entitled to invade your personal space and criticize your choices, but if you ever dare to question their behavior, or if you ask to see their phone or check up on their actions, they will become defensive, angry, or even hostile. Their intrusive behavior is about control, and they expect you to submit to their wishes without question. In these relationships, their needs and desires always come first, and your boundaries are only respected if they align with their interests.
This hypocrisy is particularly evident in the way narcissists handle digital or electronic privacy. They may snoop through your phone or personal messages, but if you ever try to do the same with theirs, it’s a violation. Their entitlement is clear—they believe they have the right to know everything about you, but you have no right to know anything about them.
How Intrusiveness Feels
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