The words I want you to avoid are: “You make me feel…” This phrase gives away your power. When you say, “You make me feel guilty” or “You make me feel stupid,” you are positioning yourself as a victim rather than owning your feelings.
Instead, say, “I feel guilty” or “I feel angry.” This slight shift empowers you and encourages ownership of your emotions. Even if the narcissist continues to gaslight you, at least you are claiming your feelings.
Using “I feel” statements helps break the cycle of victimhood and reduces the narcissist’s power over you. Remember, nobody makes you feel anything; your feelings are your own.
Remember, you can’t win in these relationships, and trying to find a script or the right words is often futile. Instead, focus on radical acceptance and understand that this relationship may not change.
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