Let’s look at all of this from a spiritual perspective. From this viewpoint, the chosen ones are healers. You do not just love; you feel. You perceive wounds in others on a level that goes beyond words. You see the child within the narcissist, the brokenness beneath the bravado, the deep-seated shame they desperately try to mask. So you try to heal them.
I did this with my mother for decades. I spent my entire life trying to understand her, to reach the part of her that was still human, still capable of love. I poured my energy into her like a never-ending well, hoping that if I could just prove to her that I was good enough, she would finally love me in the way I needed. But she never did because she could not.
I wanted to believe that if I could just show her unconditional love, if I could be what she needed—what she never got from her parents—she would stop hurting. But narcissists do not want to be healed. They do not want love; they want power. They want control. They want an energy source they can drain indefinitely. This is one of the hardest truths to accept: they do not want to change. No amount of love, sacrifice, or understanding will fill their void, and the more you try, the more you will lose yourself in the process.
I keep calling them energy vampires. Why? Well, have you ever noticed how you feel after an interaction with them? The exhaustion that seeps into your bones, the mental fog, the emotional depletion? This is because they do not engage in relationships; they engage in vampirism. Every interaction is designed to extract something from you, whether it’s your energy, your self-esteem, your time, your love—anything. And they do not give back; they cannot. They function as an energetic vacuum, taking and taking until there is nothing left.
This is why breaking free from a narcissist feels so difficult. It is not just a mental or emotional struggle; it is an energetic one, a spiritual one. They have entangled themselves in the very fabric of your being, hooking into your past wounds, your spiritual gifts, and your innate capacity for love. Untangling from them requires more than just distance; it requires deep, intentional healing.
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