Let me show you how disengagement from a narcissist’s cycle of trauma, drama, and chaos can practically look like. I don’t even look at you and think, “Oh my God, this girl’s attractive.” I just look at you and think, “Gross, gross,” because your outside, dude, is honestly a reflection of your inside, and your inside is dirty and gross, dude, and mean. Not to everyone else, I’ll just say to me. This is my personal experience because you’ve been a [expletive] to me and you’ve been a terrible person, literally horrible to me. Horrible. And you think it’s even or something? I hate your guts, dude. Hate you more than I…
They can go on and on, and you just have to be non-responsive. Ideally, you should leave because you don’t want to be a part of this craziness. But if you have to stay, this is what you do: you just do not give in, you just ignore them, you just treat them like this, the chair, and the room and its presence are insignificant in a way. The narcissist can go on and on, but you should also understand that sometimes not giving any response can be dangerous because they can get violent, and there might be true danger to your life. So, you have to choose your battles.
Some of you might think, “Well, maybe she’s the narcissist, and she might have triggered him to react this way, and then she’s recording this reaction possibly. Who knows? Because this is just a snapshot, there is more information needed for us to know exactly what’s going on. But for the sake of this episode and to use this as an example, we can understand that your disconnection, your uninvolvement is your best strategy against the narcissist. It is what you have to do to actually win in the game that you are playing. Do not let them play the game by not becoming a part of it.”
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