Acknowledge your jealousy
Most narcissists replace their exes within weeks—if not days—of breaking up, often from a stable they’ve kept full throughout your relationship. Remember, they must have a source of energy to feed on at all times. They always make sure their supply is secure.
Since they struggle with healthy attachment and authentic feelings of connection, you might feel like you are merely an arrangement that ceased to be convenient when you stopped accepting abuse. Whomever they trap next will simply be a better business deal.
When you feel jealousy, remind yourself that those poor people are getting set up the way you were and are sure to suffer in the long run. Convert your jealousy into compassion for them.
Stop looking back
If you stayed with your narcissist for any length of time, you may be looking back and wondering why you wasted so much time on them. And if you racked up a bunch of debt for them or had their kids, you’ve got a lot more than wasted time on your plate.
The important thing is that you made it out. Try to stop looking back and keep my sights set on what I am creating for my future. As any wise elder will tell you, it’s impossible to get through a human life without any regrets.
Let yourself grieve
All the above steps will not relieve your aching heart, but it will change behaviors and put new dynamics in motion to help you avoid backsliding. The healing of the human heart is a long and tender process known as grieving, which comes and goes, sometimes for years.
Take time to honor your grief by going beneath your anger and finding the sadness. As you comfort yourself, acknowledge the process of welcoming yourself back home.
Feel grateful for the emotions you had to keep bottled up for years—even the difficult ones. They can now bubble up because you’re finally with someone who loves and accepts all of you—yourself!
Why no contact is the only way to get over a narcissist
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