Sign 4: Stopping the Explanations
When you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you spend a lot of time trying to be understood. You try to express your feelings clearly, tell them what’s going on, give them the benefit of the doubt, explain your intentions, clarify your tone, reword your texts, and try again because you believe the problem is a lack of understanding. But eventually, you realize they understand; they just don’t care. And that realization changes everything.
Why? Because you stop trying to explain why something hurt you, knowing they will find a way to blame you for being too sensitive. You stop justifying why you need space, because they will accuse you of being cold or distant. You stop defending your boundaries because you already know they’re going to take it personally and punish you for it later. Instead of engaging, you go quiet—not because you are silenced, but because you have become wise. You no longer need to be understood by someone who uses your words against you. You do not need to win a debate to feel valid. You know your truth, and you do not need permission to believe it.
This kind of silence is not passive; it is intentional. It is protective and a sign that you have shifted out of the trauma bond and stepped into your power.
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