The same principle applies to relationships with emotionally unavailable people because they exhibit a pattern of inconsistency with their attention. For example, they will love bomb you in the beginning, then become cold, then hot again, and the cycle continues. This pattern is highly addictive and provides the same dopamine spikes as a slot machine, making being in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person more addictive than being with someone who consistently shows loving behavior without the push-pull or hot-cold behavior. When you combine this addictive nature of the relationship with the fact that this person’s behavior feels familiar because you were raised by a narcissistic parent, it’s highly likely that you will continue the relationship with the emotionally unavailable person and reject the person who treats you well and is good for you.
So, what can you do to break this destructive pattern of behavior and attraction to the wrong people once and for all?
- First, you must understand and educate yourself about the addictive nature of these relationships and make a conscious effort to stay away from such individuals.
- Second, you need to deconstruct your understanding and belief system about what love looks and feels like. You must be honest with yourself about your parents and how they treated you, and you must understand the connection to the people you find yourself gravitating towards.
- If you notice red flags in a new relationship, cut your losses and distance yourself before the addiction takes hold. By doing so, you can finally break this pattern of attraction to the wrong people.
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