They might begin to look at you with a strange mix of wonder and wariness. They might call it love; they might even show devotion. But remember, in their world, every ounce of affection is filtered through a survival instinct. The second you stop feeding that inner hunger, everything can flip. What once looked like closeness can turn cold; the arms that once clung to you can push you away.
For them, affection is always a transaction or a reflection of what’s being given or taken in the moment. This isn’t just about them; this is about you too. If you’re someone who sees deeply, who feels deeply, who loves with empathy and insight, you may find yourself caught in the web, because there’s something magnetic about a narcissist’s attention.
It feels intense; it feels like you matter more than anything. But what you’re really being pulled into is a storm of need—not a bond, not a covenant. So what do you do with that? You stand in truth. You stay awake. You remember that being needed is not the same as being loved. You learn to ask the question most people forget to ask: is this love feeding me or draining me?
Because if the answer is always about what you’re giving and never what’s being returned in honesty and care, then you’re not in a relationship; you’re in a performance. Understanding how narcissists operate doesn’t mean you excuse the behavior. It means you stop being confused by it. It means you start walking in wisdom—whether you choose to stay, to set firmer boundaries, or to walk away altogether.
That’s your power; that’s your choice. And it’s a choice you make not out of guilt or fear, but from clarity. The real strength isn’t in fixing them; it’s in not losing yourself in the chaos. It’s in recognizing the patterns, knowing when affection is real, and when it’s just a shadow dancing on the wall. Most of all, it’s in standing in the sacred place of your own worth—knowing that no matter who walks in or out of your life, your value doesn’t change.
That, my friend, is where the healing begins—not by changing the narcissist, but by refusing to be changed by one. That’s the end of their game and the beginning of your freedom.
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