2. When they’re in religious settings, a narcissist will attend a church, go to a mosque, or go to a temple to project an image of being a virtuous, religious, spiritually awakened personality who is kind, who has got it all together, who is calm and composed, and who likes to burn incense sticks to cleanse their aura and the aura of the environment they live in. ” Oh, they can never be violent because they’re always devoted. They’re always praying. They’re always following the Bible. They’re always reading the Quran. And they love to do yoga.” This is your typical religious or spiritual narcissist who fools people into thinking they are holier than them. They’re more awakened, more attuned, and more connected with the collective. In such a setting, they become great listeners all of a sudden. They’re nodding their heads; there’s a big smile on their faces. The narcissist that you know is anything but this, and that confuses you. You think, “Well, does that mean I am doing something wrong? Clearly, they’re capable of being a nice person, being amicable, cordial, and understanding. They can hold a conversation; they can listen to others; they can agree.” And they know what God says. They know these higher concepts of spirituality. But why are they not applying all of this knowledge to our relationship? Does that mean I am messing it up? Because they say so? They quote the Bible, they quote the Quran, they quote all things, and they use these higher concepts to say, “I need to transcend to get to their level. I’m not there yet.”
3. When they go to therapy, this is a big one, and I know a lot of you will be able to relate to this. When they see a therapist, their main agenda is to use them as a proxy to abuse you, to triangulate you through them, to project an image of being a learner, someone who is understanding, who wants to resolve the problem at the root level, who wants to work on things. But look at her, look at him, and look at you. They are the crazy ones. They are reacting, they’re frantic, and they’re emotionally unstable. “How can I ever talk to them? See, I’m really calm and composed. I know what I’m doing.” That is the type of self-control some narcissists exhibit, especially in settings where the therapist does not know what they’re dealing with, where the therapist cannot see behind the facade and read the situation for what it is. And the narcissist, being a predator, reads that, knows that, and weaponizes it. What does that lead to? Crazy-making, gaslighting by a professional. Because this therapist then tells you, “You need to work on yourself. Possibly you have BPD. You’re really unstable. What’s going on with you? Do you have childhood trauma?” “Oh yeah, he or she has a lot of baggage, and I keep telling them, ‘You need to work on your issues. I’m here for you. What else can I do?'” But it never works between us. I try to be there for him or her, but they’re always, always trying to blame me. This is the lingo; this is how they become. But when the therapist is not watching, they turn into their monstrous selves again and then say, “Oh, see, this is the problem. This is what we don’t get to address in therapy.
The Eight Common Lies Told by Narcissists
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