Number four, when they have to show they’re a family man or a family woman who is family-oriented, they will project an image of being a part of a perfect family—a family that believes in love, believes in giving, and cares for each other. We call it pseudo-mutuality. There is no real mutuality. Gossip is the glue in such a family. But the narcissist, to the public, projects an image that’s untrue, that’s false, and they make it seem like, “Oh, we fit into society. We follow cultural norms. We are the best.” They don’t say it; they make it seem like it so that they can attract collective attention and so that everybody would want to be a part of this family, which is basically not a family but a mini-cult. The family they pretend to be a part of is simply an extension of their false selves. It serves an agenda. When they get all of their members together for that one picture, it’s just that. For one mini-second, they exert self-control and make it seem like, “Oh, I love them. I love my partner. I love my children. I’m nothing without them.” Those photographs they take on a particular vacation and then post on social media are just bait to get people to think, “Oh, such a family man, such a deeply devoted woman to her partner and her kids. What could go wrong in her life?” But  nobody knows the monster behind those pictures. Nobody knows how deeply traumatized the children feel when around this deeply rotten individual.
Number five, and the last one, when dealing with a legal situation and dealing with police, they have to make it seem like, “Oh, you are the crazy one. He or she is the perpetrator. I am the victim.” And they will weave narratives, create lies, and tell stories that have no basis whatsoever. They will write pages of evidence against you. They will try to prove what never happened. Unfortunately, our legal system, and I have to say this, our police system, being so unaware of what narcissistic abuse is, falls for this because they just notice the superficial emotional state of the people involved. Narcissists exerting self-control in the situation easily fool them into thinking that they know what’s going on and that they are the same person in front of the judges, lawyers, or policemen. They trigger you into reacting to their abuse, which is a normal, biologically correct reaction to their abuse. But nobody asks the question, “Why is he or she behaving this way? What must be going on?” They simply take your reaction as the final assessment of who you are and what flaws you have in your personality. What they see in the narcissist is called the opposite of who they actually are. This is how deep it goes. This is why I call them monsters. I call them evil, and I also label them as predators.
How Do Narcissists Spy On You? Why They Do It?
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