Number Three: They may pop back into your life on your divorce anniversary—the day your marriage was legally dissolved. Why do they do this? To make their presence known. They want to send a message: Don’t even think I’m done with you, or that you’re free from me. I still have power over you, and I will make sure you know it. They want to prove that they matter. As unbelievable as it sounds, they might throw a party, acting overly happy, faking it, just to show you that you don’t matter—that they’ve “won.” They may also spend more time with their kids to solidify a bond that, in reality, doesn’t exist. All of this is extremely immature. No adult would act this way. You would think they’d stay away or maybe grieve the end of the relationship a little, but no—they must fake being bigger than life, pretending they’ve defeated you and still hold control.
Number Four: They will completely disregard your feelings on the anniversary of a loved one’s death. Let’s say it’s your parent’s death anniversary. You’re grieving and preparing to remember them in a special way because they meant a lot to you, and the loss is still painful. What will the narcissist do? Two things. First, they’ll give you the cold shoulder because they don’t care about your emotions. They’ll act like you’re exaggerating, that you’re overdoing it. “Years have passed, and you’re still mourning like it was yesterday,” they’ll say, making you feel oversensitive without directly calling you that. The second thing they might do is, out of their vindictiveness and thirst for attention, destroy the occasion for you. They’ll disrespect the deceased because they can’t stand the fact that you’re thinking about someone else. They’ll pick fights, cause arguments, leave a mess behind, interrupt your moments of reflection—anything to make sure they remain your sole focus.
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