When life gives them lemons, they don’t make lemonade out of it; they squeeze those lemons and then berate their life, berate the people they were with, and blame it on everybody else. When they are forced to cook, clean, and wash for themselves, and they are not able to get somebody to do those things for them, and they are forced to financially provide for themselves, and nobody is taking care of those things, when they are pushed to live the real life and to be in the playground, that is when they remember you and may try to get you back. Not that they want to truly give you another chance, that they just want to get all those benefits. That is when they miss you.
The second way of understanding all of this is that you were the biggest gift. You gave them everything; you loved them in always ways imaginable. What else could they get from the next person that you didn’t already give them but they rejected, they misused, they took advantage, they exploited you, and that is, in my opinion, their karma. This life is all about, in my opinion, finding love, finding happiness, most importantly, finding true connections, and they failed at that one job. They can keep jumping from one person to the other; they can keep going from one supply to the other, but their life is that never-ending journey; they’re never going to find peace, the peace that you tried to create for them. It’s quite similar in the context of a narcissistic parent as well. All your life, you may have been the scapegoat; you may have been the enabler; you may have been the rescuer, the savior. And when you, as a child, an adult child, go no contact and want nothing to do with them, they cry wolf. Then, it becomes a huge issue; you are targeted first. They try to get you back, then massive smear campaigns are run against you. The theory is the same; the story is the same. They miss all the supply that you gave them, not you. I know this because that is exactly what happened in my mother’s case. She misses and missed all the supply that I gave her because my whole existence, my entire life, was about her and keeping her safe and alive. But now I’m not there anymore; who is going to fulfill that need, that role? Nobody; that’s why you are missed.
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