Narcissistic abuse forces you to suppress your true emotions for so long. When they finally surface, they come out in unpredictable waves: mood swings, sudden outbursts, or complete emotional shutdown. Your nervous system is exhausted from constantly switching between fight, flight, and freeze mode. Even small triggers can send you spiraling. Dr. Janina Fisher, trauma expert and author of Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, describes emotional numbness as the brain’s way of protecting itself from pain. If you’ve spent years walking on eggshells, your brain may have decided that the best way to survive is to shut down entirely. But remember, healing is possible. Learning to regulate your emotions again takes time, but acknowledging your feelings can help you. You don’t have to live in emotional chaos forever. Your feelings are valid, and they deserve to be heard, especially by you.
7. Identity Confusion
Dr. Ronald Siegel, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, explains that long-term emotional abuse rewires your sense of self. When you’ve been manipulated, gaslit, and made to doubt your reality, it’s easy to lose sight of who you truly are. Narcissists slowly chip away at your identity, convincing you that your thoughts, feelings, and choices are wrong or unimportant. Over time, you stop trusting yourself, and this confusion doesn’t just go away when the narcissist is out of your life. You might second-guess everything: your preferences, your values, even your memories. But here’s the truth: you are still in there. Healing means peeling back the layers of manipulation and reconnecting with yourself. Try new things, reflect on what makes you happy, and remind yourself that your voice matters, because at the end of the day, you are not who they told you to be; you are who you decide to become.
8. Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, trauma expert and author of The Body Keeps the Score, explains that long-term emotional abuse rewires your brain to expect danger, even when none is there. When you’ve spent years walking on eggshells, your body learns to stay on high alert. That’s why even small things, like making a decision or speaking up, can send your heart racing and your hands shaking. Your brain has been trained to see every interaction as a potential threat, and that fear doesn’t just disappear when the abuse ends. Anxiety becomes your constant companion, making everyday life feel like a minefield. Additionally, there are the panic attacks. Psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendricksen, author of How to Be Yourself, describes panic as your body hitting the emergency button when it doesn’t need to. Your brain has been conditioned to expect the worst, so even a harmless situation can trigger a full-blown fight-or-flight response. You might avoid social situations, struggle with decision-making, or feel terrified of making mistakes. But here’s the good news: your brain can heal. Therapy, mindfulness, and small acts of self-trust can help retrain your nervous system.
9. Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
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