Narcissists love to talk about themselves in the third person, and you’re about to find out why. It might sound weird or funny at first, but there’s more going on beneath the surface. This habit isn’t just quirky; it’s a peek into how they see themselves as separate, special, or even above everyone else. This is about power: if I pay, I am weak; if I show weakness, I begin to lose everything I’ve spent a lifetime building.
Today, we’ll break down the ten strange ways narcissists talk about themselves in the third person. Are you ready for number one? The Royal “He” or “She.” Have you ever met someone who talks about themselves like they’re royalty being interviewed by the History Channel? When a narcissist uses third-person language, like “he doesn’t settle” or “she demands excellence,” it’s performance art. It creates a weird emotional distance, as if they’re narrating their own myth. Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula calls this a form of identity inflation—a way for narcissists to detach from accountability while puffing up their image. It’s like they’re starring in a documentary about themselves, directed by themselves, with zero room for critique.
By doing this, they set the stage for admiration while dodging any real vulnerability or flaws. It also shifts the focus entirely away from others, making it all about their personal narrative. In their world, everything revolves around their version of the truth, and they’re the unquestioned hero of it.
Let’s talk about number two: the Martyr Monologue. When a narcissist says something like, “John just wants to be loved,” they’re not just begging for affection; they’re setting the stage for a guilt trip. By talking about themselves like a tragic movie character, they paint themselves as endlessly selfless and heartbreakingly misunderstood. According to Dr. Lindsey C. Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, emotionally immature people often use self-pity to manipulate others into caretaking roles. So when John sighs about how no one ever appreciates his kindness, he’s asking you to validate and soothe him while ignoring the toxic strings that come with all that giving. It’s a subtle yet effective way to make you feel responsible for their emotional needs.
The problem is their self-pity rarely leads to any real change; it just gets them the attention and control they crave. In the end, you’re left feeling drained and questioning your own motives.
Continue reading on the next page
Sharing is caring!
