Now let’s talk about number two: Difficulty setting boundaries with co-workers or bosses. When you’ve experienced narcissistic abuse, your sense of personal boundaries can get totally scrambled. You’ve spent so much time walking on eggshells that saying no at work can trigger a mini panic attack. You start thinking, “What if they get mad? What if I look difficult?” Dr. Tma Bryant, psychologist and author of Homecoming, explains, “Survivors of emotional abuse often confuse boundaries with rejection because they’ve been taught that their needs are a burden.” So when your coworker dumps their work on you or your boss texts you after hours, your instinct might be to just take it, even though every part of you wants to push back. That fear of being seen as selfish or difficult isn’t real; it’s residue from being trained to please, not protect yourself. But boundaries aren’t walls; they’re doors you control.
Let’s move on to number three: Constantly reading between the lines. When your boss sends a short reply or a colleague walks past without saying hi, your brain doesn’t just notice it; it interrogates it. You start asking yourself, “Did I offend them? Are they upset with me? Should I apologize just in case?” According to Dr. Jonas Webb, author of Running on Empty, people raised in emotionally neglectful or manipulative environments often grow up learning to tune in to subtle cues to stay safe. That survival skill sticks with you into adulthood, making you constantly read between the lines even when there’s nothing actually written there. It’s not paranoia; it’s pattern recognition gone into overdrive. Your brain’s just trying to protect you, but sometimes it ends up protecting you from problems that don’t even exist.
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