Here comes number eight: Feeling guilty for taking time off or calling in sick. You might lie in bed sick but still check your work emails, apologizing for not being available as if you’ve just committed workplace treason. That guilt isn’t laziness talking; it’s conditioning. Narcissists often drill the idea into your head that taking care of yourself is selfish, lazy, or weak. Psychotherapist Beverly Engel, in her book The Nice Girl Syndrome, explains how abusers program you to equate self-care with shame, making you feel like you constantly have to earn your right to exist. So now, even in a healthy workplace, you find yourself over-apologizing or fearing you’ll be seen as unreliable. But here’s the truth: Rest isn’t weakness; it’s survival. You don’t need to bleed for your job to prove your worth. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s a priority.
Moving on to number nine: Difficulty accepting help or delegating. If you’ve been through narcissistic abuse, you might really struggle to ask for help, even when you’re completely overwhelmed. It’s not because you think you’re superhuman; it’s because every time you needed something in the past, someone made you feel like a burden or accused you of being too much. So now, even in a supportive workplace, the idea of delegating tasks or admitting you’re swamped feels risky. Psychologist Dr. Lindseay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, explains that survivors often develop a fierce independence, not out of pride, but survival. You learned that being self-sufficient was the safest way to avoid shame or rejection. But here’s the truth: Healthy teams share the load. Asking for help isn’t weakness; it’s wisdom. It means you’re human, not a machine on the brink of burnout.
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